Broken

Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse...
I felt my heart break into a million tiny little pieces. And not in a way that anyone could feel sorry for me. I saw my demons reflected in his eyes. I was the enemy, I was the queen of his destruction.
It was like watching a bad movie. Except the movie was me.
He buys me a nice dinner.
I see myself sitting with me head in my hands wearing a purple trench coat on his porch 8 years ago, waiting to be seen.
He pulls me close to him, like he doesn't want to lose me.
I see myself texting frantically 9 years ago, waiting to be heard.
He brings over a bottle of chianti.
I see myself more recently, washing every piece of laundry and cleaning every surface, waiting to be felt.
"Why are you so stupid?" becomes "Why can't you be cool?"
Every thing reverberates with striking similarity in my ribs.
When I realize I'm breaking someone in just the way I was broken.