Cognitive behavioral therapy

"There's people to love everywhere."
He said this outside the bar as I swirled my lime around in my tonic and gin.
This was months ago. I didn't believe him of course. It didn't feel that way. The universe didn't feel so wide. My universe felt small then. Singular. Defined.
Now I begin to realize everything I'd been wasting.
My time.
My energy.
My beauty.
My love.
Life was just too short to stop it all for someone else. Love was just too universal to wait for it to happen.
"Treat it like a game."
My dad says this and I grimace. The stakes seem too high. What I have to lose seems too great.
But then, as this man begins to explain cognitive behavioral therapy to me, I realize. I realize my anxiety problems are real. I realize I've been dealing with them for years. I realize things are just not important enough to be this way. I realize the problem is my brain. I realize it's time to deal.
Instead of my usual "you're so stupid" mantra, I try something else.
"You're going to be alright kid, you're going to be alright."