No More

Ok.
I know what I just did was stupid. I knew I overreacted.
But in my defense, there was absolutely no way to go back on it without proving you completely right in your mind.
So I forged ahead.
I clung to what I thought, even though at this moment, you were angry with me and thought I was crazy.
So when you said "fuck off," that's what I did.
I gave up.
I was wrong, but my pride was hurt. I didn't want to be mad, but I already responded. I tried to reel it back a little, but now you were mad. And so there was no way I felt I could repair it. So I let it tear itself to shreds in front of my eyes.
I had been insulting, and personally, aimed to kill.
If tomorrow we weren't friends, that would be the end. I would let it go. Even though I didn't really want to, I'd finally let you go. Even though I wanted things to be ok, in a friend space, where we finally had no drama, I would take a deep breath and let it go.
Because I was in the wrong this time, even though you began to condescend to me.
I started the fight this time.
I was sorry, but it was what it was, and if that cost me your friendship, well maybe that's what was supposed to happen. I couldn't continue to be a slave to what you thought of me.
If this was how we had to be, so be it.
I'd watch you float away on your current, sails in the wind, and wish you all the better for it, turning my head as you disappeared on the horizon. The girl with all the words, finally without a word to speak.