Fortune

"You knew damn well I wanted to kiss you."
He had a point.
I did know. I let myself play hard to get, in those first moments. I didn't know you, you were a conquest. I misinterpreted you, thought I knew you. We were two strangers standing close, fog, glitter, and MGMT.
"I was so close to not coming to that party." We would have never have met.
He was right. In my every day life, I was brave, I took risks, I was impulsive.
I saw something I wanted, and without a second thought, I went for it.
So why were situations like this so different?
If there was one thing I prided myself on, it was my guts. The guts to apply for a new position, the guts to go up to a guy and kiss him, the guts to sing karaoke.
Why was I so afraid of this?
It was an immediate reaction, something I almost couldn't control. The thought popped into my head, like a film burn. It swallowed me. I assumed the worst.
Warm droplets, caressing away every fear streaked down my face, a release in each of them, fully resigned.