Melancholy

Is it silly for me to feel this small but ever present ache?
I feel nervous for the future. Not so nervous that I am unable to function, but anxious enough that it scratches at the back of my brain every once in a while. It seems like my life was always full of possibilities, little bursting flowers, should I only choose to pick them. There is still many possibilities for sure, but nothing near what surrounded me before. And I find myself nervous to choose. Certainly I could throw all the flowers I have out and choose a whole new bunch whenever I wanted, whatever I wanted.
Would it really be better? Sometimes it seems so.
Taking a chance, making a connection, trying something new. All those things make me feel the life blood in my veins. My fascination with change was almost made it a necessity. I started to feel this itch, this shaking desire to go, be, do, leap. Find a way to create myself anew.
Certainly I needed a heavy dose of new.

"Hold on to whatever you find baby. Hold to whatever will get you through."
~ I Don't Trust Myself by John Mayer