Revenge of the Nerds

I started watching Freaks and Geeks. For an older show starring Seth Rogen, I didn't think I would like it so much. The reason I love it is maybe because I watch Lindsay and I am Lindsay. I identify with her so deeply. And she got to make out with David Krumholtz! C'mon...
But speaking plainly; I was that girl. The smart one who aced tests. The misunderstood outcast (wasn't everybody?). I was the girl who came from a good home and who others used as an excuse. I was the good kid.
I know of at least three occasions when friends (or even barely there friends) lied to their parents and said they were with me. The one who never caused trouble. The one who never drank, smoked, had sex, stayed out late, or skipped school. There was the neighborhood kid who told her mother she was sleeping over at my house. Of course the mother called my mother, and the truth came out. She even tried to get me to call back get mother and tell her we talked about her sleeping over.
Then there was the family friend who pretended I had cooties until one night, I asked him to a dance. After that, it was "I'm hanging out with Sara." Little did he realize a date that came into question I would be traipsing around Europe.
Or my favorite--the dangerous bad girl who always played dare, knew make up, and unlocked the secrets of boys. She made me feel alive. Lucky for her, her drunken and whirlwind antics would lead to an imprisonment with me for an entire summer. You think for a minute she abided that punishment?
I was the excuse friend for those who were cool and the rebel with those I actually peddled my time with. Sometimes I wish I could have a conversation with every person who thought they knew who I was and tell them they were wrong.
High school was a worthwhile but bitter place. One I'm not forgetting. I guess there aren't enough years between us for me to grant it forgiveness.
Nights like these, I stay awake, brimming with obsessive thought, wanting to know Lindsay's fate. Because it is my own. I see those first kisses, and a thrill runs through me. I feel her heartbeat in every script. As I draw nearer to the 18th and final episode, I wonder what the director had said post humously. Where was Lindsay going? I guess I'll never know.
But I hope she is kissing Barry Schweiber and attending college. Big things, no longer stuck in the teenage quagmire.