Neon

Do you ever wonder about the impermanence of a sunset?
The colors are so striking, so loud. Setting everything aflame. Unfortunately, the flame is due to burn out. In five minutes time, the same hillside turns dull. The moment of beauty is gone.
Yet, do we ever doubt the sunset will come back?
Moments of beauty come in knowable intervals.
I felt vibrant.
The edges of me tingled and buzzed. My heart exploded in ribbons of technicolor feelings. I felt alive. I felt awake.
Something about this was different. Something was begging to be noticed and heard, but not overwhelming me with fear and doubt. I felt empowered, not weighted. I didn't have to change who I was.
Something about that was so beautiful. And yet, it was so sad.
I was awake for a moment, dimmed in the next. Loud and bold turned to quiet and cold.
Surely this feeling wasn't temporary. Surely it was possible to feel this way again. This couldn't be the only time in my life I felt awakened and light, see the clarity in things.
My paradigms shifted like Jenga blocks.
Don't feel stupid, I thought. Don't apologize. Don't ever think it's wrong to be bold, and bright, and loud, and dramatic. That's just how you are. Let this moment inform you. Let the beauty of someone else alight you.
Don't stop.



"She's always buzzing just like
Neon, neon
Neon, neon
Who knows how long, how long, how long
She can go before she burns away"

~ Neon by John Mayer