Out of My League

It's amazing that I can go a post a month, and then all of a sudden I have 4 posts in 24 hours.
Some days I feel so...full.
Full of thoughts, full of emotions, full of life. And all I want to do is get it out. Take it out from inside of me so it doesn't make my insides feel like they are running around in circles, chasing their collective tails. Everything inside of me is threatening to spill over, sloshing around in my cup. I can't sleep, I feel so full of it all. Sometimes I don't even know what is coming out. The thoughts are incomplete and my metaphors are lost in my writing.
But sometimes, sometimes I sit down and write out a really good thought, where the words interlock and the beauty of my words flows through me onto the page. That's the greatest art I can conjure by myself. The greatest art I can hope to achieve. The beauty of words.
If anyone knows the importance of selecting exactly the right words, it's me. One result will create something that just sounds and looks beautiful. Other results...not so pretty. And in truth, it's not just the words, it's what you are saying too. Does your thought hold weight? Since this is such a delicate balance, I won't pretend that I strike it at all times. But there are a few times I really truly believe what I write has all the elements of a written piece of art. That's know exactly how I feel, exactly what I want to say, and find the exact words. Somewhere inside of me something is resonating, and imaginary tuning fork is struck.
Tonight I don't know what I want to say. I just know that everything is building up, and it wants out. Everything I feel wants to escape. Return to the universe instead of being cramped in my tiny human body. It just hasn't found the right exit yet. No one is organized, it's chaos in there. They are beating down the walls, but no one has decided to work together yet. So the thoughts stay trapped, trying to figure themselves out.
And then I hear a song, and everything inside dances. At least they aren't trying to escape, but it's still a mess. Imagine a million little thoughts and emotions jumping around inside. Mosh pit?
And it feels better, but I still try to find the words to set them free.
But I'm still so, so confused.

"Forty days and forty nights. I waited for like a girl like you to come and save my life."

~ More Than Just a Dream by Fitz And The Tantrums