Mine's Not a High Horse

I tried hard not to be jealous, to play the part of a high school girl.

But I was really jealous.

They were the bright, shiny new toy. Unattached and perfect. I don't know why, but that annoyed me to no end. How was that fair? I'm a perfectly good, acceptable, nerdy, kind person. Maybe this indicated something about my nature and self-worth. Since when did not being single make you completely uninteresting? I still wanted to have a social life, that perfect explosion of unpredictability resulting in something wild and untamed.

I still wanted to be wanted and a little bit insane.

I buried my nose behind books instead of responding to my complete lack of a proper social life. In high school this wouldn't have bugged me, but I'd already had a taste. I'd had a social butterfly moment, and all too quick, like the sudden death of the aforementioned creature, it was gone.

Did I tell you I wrote on a teacher's board of words because I thought they spelled onion wrong? Turns out they were spelling union. Like the union of two things. I'm glad he didn't catch me but I hope he doesn't blame one of his students.

In my defense he spelled semi-colon like this: semi-colen. 

"We shared some information we might not recover from."

~ Mine's Not a High Horse by the Shins